The Ups & Downs of Adoption...

I've had many adopting families share with me about how there were so many ups & downs during their adoption. I've read about it. I've heard about it. But I've kind of always thought in the back of my mind, that's not going to happen with us... Ha!

An email came in yesterday in regards to our adoption that basically said, until we know more about a law that was just passed on January 14th... we'll not be accepting anymore clients. My heart sunk; my mind trying to wrap itself around what this really meant and it took all I could to not cry about what I had just read.

I emailed the agency back, asking more questions before I called Paul to share the news with him. I just couldn't believe this was happening to us. We'd waited for so long and God had open so many doors, why were they now being shut so quickly?

Many of my questions were answered (not in the way that I wanted) but I realized all those times I thought this wouldn't happen to us and now we sit in the dead center of heartbreak. I called Paul to tell him what was happening. And that I was waiting to hear back from them, after they heard back from the government. I thought to myself, this is a joke. The government responding to an agency could take forever!

I left for my lunch break, called a friend and then went home and allowed the emotions to sink in fully. I kept reminding myself of God's promises. His faithfulness. His love. I prayed that He would show me what this meant. Where were we supposed to go from here?

If we chose to go with another agency, we'd be leaving an agency that we love and we'd be moved to the bottom of the list again. This could mean months or even another year before we got to where we are now. I've resigned from the City and my last day is February 8th, so the idea of waiting another year was extremely hard to grasp. However, I placed my worry and doubt in the hands of God and asked that he just take the situation and do with it as he pleased.

I think sometimes we hold on to an idea, a relationship, a habit, an item, a way of living so tight that even though we may be praying to God... in the back of our minds we're still trying to control the entire situation. We end up feeling better about our situation because we've "prayed" but in all honesty, we've not been obedient. We cling to those things and never ever let them go, completely doubting God's ability and power.

Lately I've been trying to determine in my own life, Is how I live Biblical? Is how I worship Biblical? Is what I say Biblical? And for me, the way that we respond in disappointing situations, should be Biblical. So what does this look like? "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." -Matthew 6:33 In the verses prior to verse 33, scripture lays out all the things God cares about and how he provides and takes care of everything. Why do we allow a simple email, a simple phone call, a letter in the mail or a relationship to get us all worked up? As soon as this happens, we take our eyes off Christ and focus on ourselves.

God is Mighty! God is Great! God is Sovereign! God is all-knowing! God is Powerful. These are the truths of my God. These are the characteristics of my God. Why do I doubt? Why do I fear? Why do I worry?

Later on that afternoon another email came in from our agency, they had already received a response from the government (yes, that's right... my God also has control over even the government :) and even though there was a law passed on January 14th that would have caused a delay or even completely stopped our adoption... there was a clause included that allowed families to be grandfathered in who have their Home Study complete by July of this year.

So with that being said, we start our Home Study on Tuesday. God is good. God is Great! God is Sovereign!